I’ve been a mum of two now for over 3months, and I can confirm that parenting two kids is a lot harder than when it’s just one. So many of the things you did with your first baby go straight out the window. You don’t have the time to be so precious or worried about everything, you’re just trying to stay afloat. I can’t imagine what it’s like with more than two!
With your first baby, you don’t want to put them down, you’re constantly snuggling them, getting all those newborn cuddles. But with the second baby, you’re able to lay them down in the bassinet/bouncer, you have to be able to put them down and concentrate on your other babe at times. In saying this you’re also able to let them cry a bit. When there’s just one baby you are more inclined to pick them up the second they start crying or to not let them cry too much, because you worry about every little whine, however with that second baby it’s not as heart breaking when they cry a little plus what if the other child is on the toilet? Or climbing up the book case? Or eating dog food? You have to let the baby cry a little to attend to the gremlin doing something that urgently needs your attention.
First baby you don’t really want to put them down on the floor if your trying todo something, second baby you gravitate towards putting them down on the floor between your legs so that your able to wash your hands or make a bottle or wipe your bum! You know by now they ain’t gonna die.
First child you are constantly checking, double checking doctor google on absolutely everything. You’re comparing, researching, digesting every little ounce of information, you’re constantly doubting every move you make. Second time around you’re not concerned with all that, you know that you can keep them alive and happy, well at least you have so far! And you’re far less paranoid ( thank goodness).
With the first baby you are paranoid about doing the best you can with breastfeeding, or at least trying to stick it out for as long as possible. You make sure everything is one thousand percent sterilised and measured out to a tee, second baby you’re not as emotional about giving up on the boob, you start off with the best intentions about sterilisation and all that other crap but you know being a bit lackadaisical isn’t going to harm them!
First baby I was steadfast I wasn’t going to dress her in pink or overly girly outfits, now I honestly could not care less and more girly the better! In fact most of her wardrobe is probably pink!
First time around I made sure Milla did abundant amounts of tummy time, now Billie hates it and only lasts a few minutes or so, and it honestly doesn’t bother me.
First baby you think your an absolute legend at doing things one handed, nah ah when there’s two bubba’s you’re like next level pro at that stuff! I can now flip and make pancakes one handed! Yeah boy!
You’re never more impressed with yourself than when you make and butter toast with one hand!
First baby you kinda got the jist of packing and organising the baby bag, second baby it’s second nature you have doubles of everything so you basically never have to repack it and your always ready to get out the doors as fast as humanly possible.
I was so dubious to give Milla a dummy, it took me three days to finally give in and offer her one, two and half years later Billie was born and within hours she had a dummy without any hesitation!
First baby, you swear that your not going to let them watch too much tv or be in front of a screen for too long, second baby comes along and the screen is your free babysitter!
Easy foods are a god send, squeezy yogurts, pasta, berries, frozen snacks, toast, anything that doesn’t take too much preparation is bliss. You realise you don’t have the time to make something entirely by scratch or you start cooking and realise hubbies going to have to finish it or your going to have to put bubs in a sling to be able to feed the troops.
Here’s one I only realised the other day because my partner noticed!
With Milla I was pretty strict with getting her to nap in her bed (if she ever napped) however second baby around I let her nap in the bouncer more often than not, because really I’m a bit lazy!
You think you know what sleep deprivation is with one baby and then you come to toddler years and generally it gets a bit better, second baby you realise there’s a whole new dictionary for the meaning of sleep deprivation and usually you don’t get to nap when their napping, because one of them has out grown daytime naps no matter how much coaxing.
There really should be a new coffee selection for tired mums:
* One hour all night brew
* The baby slept the toddler needed water and snacks all night cold press
* The baby wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on me freeze dried
* Woke up every 45mins dark roast
* The I need to keep up with a toddler all day French press
* Finally had a good night sleep but still feel like shit roast
* I’m breast feeding so can’t drink copious coffees drop
* I have to take them out in public espresso
When you have your first baby your inclined to check on them every time you hear even the most minuscule noise coming from their bed, second baby you know not to check on them unless you know their awake or to check if their still breathing!
First baby you’re waiting for each milestone to happen, second baby you don’t want them to happen nearly as fast! You remember how fast time goes by.
You’re so ready to start solids and have everything prepared and researched first time, second baby comes around you honestly don’t care what month it is or how old they are they ain’t ready for it yet and quite frankly neither am I!
First baby you don’t realise how disgusting all the poo and wee is and when you get covered in it, you momentarily forget who’s more important, the babies bum/body or your clothes/hands, second baby your fine getting covered in shit and piss it doesn’t even revolt you anymore! And most of the time the toddler has covered you in snot anyway!
With the first baby you are very conscious of who you pass the baby off too and for how long, second baby you don’t really mind as long as you have a free hand for a few minutes!
First time parents don’t know how truly magical bribes are until there’s another child screaming and your begging the toddler to get out of a tree or come inside so that your able to change or feed the baby
When you think you couldn’t possibly love another little person more than your first born, and then when your holding your new baby in your arms you realise that you can fit in just as much love for both of them and you just burst with so much joy and elation because you made them and now you get to love them both forever.
When you’ve already been a parent for a while you think you’ve learnt some of the tips and tricks to survive, and then when that new baby comes you realise that you have to learn a whole new method because those tips and tricks may be helpful, but they were helpful when there was only one baby. This is a whole new ball game, one you as a family is learning and navigating together. We all may have been a bit too precious with our first born and a bit more lackadaisical and cool with our seconds (or thirds or fourths?) but that doesn’t mean we love them any less or any differently we just become different parents. I laugh at myself most days, it’s a tough gig but I wouldn’t change it for the world! Just looking at them makes you so happy and even when you’ve had a super tough day and they have finally, finally gone to sleep, you catch yourself starring at photos of them hoping to god they don’t wake up for a few hours!